I had one of those days, where for any number of little reasons, all stacked on top of each other, I totally lost my cool. A stormy walk, some terse words, then a whole lot of explaining. 

I was not proud of myself.

It was a classic parenting moment; a golden opportunity to be beautifully philosophical and provide a pearl of wisdom to be taken through life and referred to whenever you need it; something you could make into a badge and wear on your lapel to help remind yourself, for when the going gets tough. That’s the mother I wish I had been.

Did it go like that? No. Cause that’s not real life, or at least not as often as I wish it was. Instead I reacted in a big way, immediately regretted it, and tried to talk my way out of it for the rest of the walk. Oh dear, I was being ‘that’ person, that mother. 

I know we shouldn’t ever judge ourselves, or others, based on just a moment (especially mothers, I’ve just got to say, it’s a bloody hard job and in a bad moment, can feel completely relentless). Sadly, people often do. And that’s exactly what I did to myself.  Not who I want to be, but who I was in that moment.

I decided that, because I had handled myself so poorly, I must apologise. But, I had to wait a whole day to do it. Unbearable! So, I squished a baking mission in between all the other things, still feeling generally ragged all round. 

I thought, I know, I want to make cinnamon buns. They’ll make everything right again. They always do! But, already feeling like I’d been a bad mother that day I decided that I needed to make them gluten free, sugar free, all the frees. Healthy! Yes. Then I will surely be a good mother, because I have made healthy cinnamon buns for afternoon tea.

A delicious, warm apology. That is what this day needed.

I embarked on a crazy, freestyle baking mission, ignoring everything the reference recipe told me (the recipe was for regular cinnamon buns, you know, the delicious kind) and changed everything about it.

Well, guess what. They were terrible. Truly. A total, classic, epic fail. Because that was the kind of day I was having. The cinnamon buns had failed, and the day had not been turned around.  The buns (really you couldn’t have even begun to call them that) were devoid of any redeeming features. But, feeling emotional, I ate one anyway.

Pulling those buns out of the oven could have been another last straw. But instead, I found it absurdly funny. What it made me realise was – I can’t fix everything. Even with cinnamon buns. There are many times when I won’t get things right. But trying anyway is still important. And so is being kind to yourself, letting the bad moments go, and not letting the sticky stuff get the better of you.

If you’re kind to yourself, my guess is it’s way easier to be kind to others, even when they’re not at their best either.

After school, I explained what I had wanted to do, and what had actually happened. We laughed at the sad photo I had taken of the ‘cinnamon buns’, because it was totally funny. And then we went to the shops and bought some bagels. 

And everything felt alright again.

Sour Cherry Muffins

When life gives you sour cherries, make sour cherry muffins.

I’m just going to tell you, pretty much anything tastes better when it’s still warm, fresh out of the oven. And these muffins are no exception. They’ll still be yum the day after, but if you’re looking for something really, deeply comforting, that gives you a hug and blurs away all the stickiness of the day, I want you to gobble them up with your closest while the cherries are still juicy and the aroma of the baking fills the house. Who cares about the crumbs! Snuggle in close, give each other a squeeze, and let the muffins be a bridge, to a place where life is simple and needs no explanation.

Sour Cherry Muffins

gluten free • low sugar • easy, even if you’ve had one of those days

Tangy little muffins, soft and light from the oven. Easy, even if you’re in a bit of a flap. So easy, in fact, you could even not really follow the recipe, if you really, really wanted to. But then again, maybe that’s just me…

1 cup (155g) light buckwheat flour
1 cup (120g) almond meal
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
pinch of salt

1 cup (200g) greek yoghurt, for the tang
2 eggs
1/2 cup (125ml) olive oil
1 tablespoon vanilla paste
1/4 teaspoon liquid stevia
2 – 4 tablespoons maple syrup (I used only 2, but I’m used to things not being very sweet, feel free to increase if you need the extra sweetness)

1 cup (150g) frozen, pitted sour cherries

• Preheat the oven to 180°C / 350°F / Gas Mark 4. Line a 12 hole muffin tin with papers.
• In a medium sized bowl stir together all of the dry ingredients.
• Add all of the other ingredients, except the cherries, and stir until well combined.
• Fold through the frozen cherries.
• Scoop the mixture in to the muffin papers, filling each one about 3/4 full.
• Bake in the oven for 20 – 22 minutes, or until golden on top.
• Enjoy warm, on the couch, in the last sliver of daylight. Don’t even worry about the crumbs.

Do you love muffins as much as I do? Need one with chocolate? Here you go! Want to sneak in a vegetable? Then how about pumpkin, or beetroot? And if you have some ripe bananas on hand, then you could make these or these!